Communication, listening and limits

These three concepts are key to living a positive sexuality. We have talked a lot about the importance of good communication and listening, but…why are limits important? We talk about respecting our limits, knowing how to express them, making them reach other people, and at the same time, attending to and respecting other people’s limits.

The limits we establish with other people and that involve our own body have to do with bodily autonomy. We have the right and also the responsibility to set limits when we do not like something that concerns our body. At the same time, respecting other people’s limits is essential to relating assertively and free of violence.

There is no need to justify the limits.
The limits must be clear and simple.
Limits give security and provide a framework of freedom within which to move.

Here are some phrases that we can say to set limits or express what we want:

“I prefer you not to hold me like this”

“I want to continue kissing, but right now I don’t feel like doing more things”

“Do you want to caress my head? It makes me very happy”

“Can I try biting your arms? If you don’t like it, let me know, okay?”